Specify or Shut Up

Another student in one of my classes was discussing what he was giving up for lent. Bread. First, allow me to say, REALLY??  I mean out of all the things that you could give up? Bread?? Huh, interesting choice. But, he looks at me, confused, anxious asking if this item or that will be okay for his consumption, hes obviously in panic mode. I look at him, smile, and calmly say, "define bread". This shouldn't be such a difficult question. I mean, he's the one who decided to give bread up for lent. You'd think he'd be able to quickly define bread. I mean, were we talking wheat, flour, carbohydrates, gluten?? Are we simply discussing loafs of bread?? In my head this was not complicated.His eyes grew wide, the abject fear so apparent on his young face. He does not simply define bread. He avoids and starts listing things he's been avoiding (as if I give enough of a shit that I will deduce for him what he's given up for lent!), he says he hasn't eaten Mexican flat bread (so not loafs of bread...) He's assumed tortilla chips are out, as is pizza (thus far I'm assuming he's actually given up carbohydrates, but he can't decide). He then asks if Panda Express would be okay for lunch. I laugh softly, sadly amused with him, and simply say no. Thus far in the conversation he's said that he's not eating flour products. I inform him that noodles are made of flour, and that the sauce is generally thickened with flour or some similar product (and that's if the "meat" isn't breaded), his face drops again. I am, single-handedly destroying the next 40 days of his life. He's now grasping at straws. Well what about....or....even....??? I simply smile, and tell him he needs to define bread and quietly thank myself for my lack of religious beliefs. 

This seems to be a problem with my generation. The inability to simply specify or define anything. It's not that hard. People will say, "we haven't had that discussion yet, so I can sleep with so-and-so...right?" heaven forbid anyone be responsible for defining your own ethics, morals, code of conduct, or your own thoughts. I am a word sleuth. I will find a way around, a loop hole, some back door that I can get a foot into and work to my advantage. For example, I am not a gossip. I am a psychology major who is incredibly interested in human behavior. Hearing about and discussing other peoples behaviors is a part of that. I can use this wondrous language to my advantage, tweak it, bend it, contort it into a shape that is more effective for my lifestyle. I find that through thorough dedication to defining the world as I see it, my life is explicitly less complicated. Every label, every title, I will carefully redefine for myself. Relationship-it is no longer simply an emotional or other connection with another human...no. See how many loop holes that has? You only use that definition if you more or less don't like the other person but want to have some fun. "Oh, you meant that kind of relationship!!" 

Life is simpler with specificity. So, if you cannot understand how to do this simple task, if you do not comprehend it's usefulness, if you are simply too damn lazy to use it--that's fine. But be careful when talking to me. I'll win. More importantly learn to specify or do me the quick favor of just not talking.