I am a female (I know, sometimes you can't really tell and some people would argue that they wanted DNA proof, but regardless...) and I am just about six feet tall. I have broad shoulders, muscle mass on my legs, and a wide rib cage. Basically - I'm not petite. At all. In fact the only small thing about me (other than my sense of sympathy, which is shrinking daily) are my tiny little toe nails. That's it. I'm a "big girl", legitimately "big boned" (by the way, fuck off Cartman for ruining that!) and I can probably take or at least put up a damn good fight against most of the men I know. However, and please take note, I am still, in actuality, still a girl! And because I'm kind of the "abnormal" type, I get a lot...no a lot of flack for it. At this point I've been socialized to not embrace my femininity (if I ever had any), I'm suppose to embrace being taller, stronger, louder, etc. But, here's the thing: I don't.
I don't think about how tall I am, but because most of the people I know are shorter than me (with a national average female 18-30 height of 5'4" this makes perfect sense) , so when we hang out, I am the tallest. Hell, even among the men I know and associate with, I'm one of the tallest (national average male 18-30 height: 5'10"). So, I'm the big one. I'm the tall kid, I get to carry things, play guard dog, reach for things on the top shelf...and it does not help when the men I've dated have requested (sternly) that I not wear high heels or that when people first meet me, they are oh so observant and state "Damn, you're tall!" or "How tall are you?!" (every time, without fail!).
Then you have the media, and doesn't everyone just love the media? The media says it's okay to be as tall as I am, if you're Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, or any other stick thin (in their heyday, anyway) super model. Plus women are suppose to have perfect skin, perfect tits, long thin legs, heaven forbid you have any muscle--because if you do you're instantly a dyke (not that there is anything wrong with that, it's just one of those stupid stereotypes...) Then take porn or any other sexually extreme form of media and now we're all suppose to be these soft, demure, classy women in our daily lives, but perfectly sculpted sluts (and I mean sluts) in bed. We're suppose to take it how ever, when ever, where ever the man wants, while having the flexibility of a gymnast, skills of a porn star, and the self esteem of a 13 year old who is willing to do anything for attention. But, hey, men are allowed to get fat, stop shaving, brushing their teeth, and maintaining themselves altogether, hell they have role models that tell them that's okay.
As a woman of my size, shape, and height I am instantly a lesbian, regardless of who I'm actually attracted to, simply because of what I seem to be, I am instantly one thing. Hell, because of my size, shape, and height coupled with the fact that I am, in fact, straight, I am expected to be much more demure than the average woman, to compensate for my size. I ought be wearing knee length skirts every day (with flats, of course...) smiling quietly. Allow me to dispel this myth; that is not going to happen, ever. If I can be permitted to steal from my larger sisters: I'm large and in charge!!!
Okay, well, maybe not. But the point that I am very poorly getting to (and taking my time!) All women, regardless of size, are insecure. This is a fact. Even the ones who are very well adjusted and have things figured out are still going to appreciate the occasional "You look good today." and "I love your body." Because as women, and I mean the vast majority (at least 95%) women, are scared (deep down, and I mean way down) that we aren't pretty enough and thin enough, that we aren't good enough, fun enough, that we're too emotional, or not emotional enough (or not at the right times for either), that we aren't good enough in bed, that we aren't good enough cooks, that we aren't interested in things you like enough...the list goes on and on. The thing is, and please, read carefully, men are told that it's okay to get fat, to come home from work and lay on the couch, to stop taking care of yourselves, etc. while women are told that a month after pregnancy we need to be stick thin again, that if there's something wrong we can just have it cut away, altered, inflated, pulled taut, colored, lifted, etc. Allow me to call gender biased bullshit. Men tell us that they love us the way we are, then turn around and worship women who have been completely altered, and quietly suggest small things (a nip here, a tuck there...).
So, allow me to even the playing field. Every time I see a man make a remark about some ridiculous imperfection on a woman, unless that man is Chippendale's-dancer-perfect, I'm going to call him on his shit. 'Okay, you want me to be thinner, you too hon, because that pastey ass beer belly and back hair aren't really doing it for me either!' 'A boob job? Sure, but a. your ass is paying for it, and b. I want your biceps to be 25 inches in circumference first.' Why do only men get to make the demand? I say, women, stand the fuck up and demand a little for yourself. He's a little short down stairs demand he do something about it! Your man getting a little big around the middle, start serving only salad and eliminate all 'fun' food from the house. It's time we stop playing these bullshit games with them. They want to control us by using our insecurities against us? Bring.It.On.Motherfucker. I'm a mean bitch when I want to be and I will cut you down.
Just some food for thought for all my ladies out there. To the men who aren't the idiots I speak of, GOOD JOB! Keep it up. A revolution might be just around the corner.
Okay, well, maybe not. But the point that I am very poorly getting to (and taking my time!) All women, regardless of size, are insecure. This is a fact. Even the ones who are very well adjusted and have things figured out are still going to appreciate the occasional "You look good today." and "I love your body." Because as women, and I mean the vast majority (at least 95%) women, are scared (deep down, and I mean way down) that we aren't pretty enough and thin enough, that we aren't good enough, fun enough, that we're too emotional, or not emotional enough (or not at the right times for either), that we aren't good enough in bed, that we aren't good enough cooks, that we aren't interested in things you like enough...the list goes on and on. The thing is, and please, read carefully, men are told that it's okay to get fat, to come home from work and lay on the couch, to stop taking care of yourselves, etc. while women are told that a month after pregnancy we need to be stick thin again, that if there's something wrong we can just have it cut away, altered, inflated, pulled taut, colored, lifted, etc. Allow me to call gender biased bullshit. Men tell us that they love us the way we are, then turn around and worship women who have been completely altered, and quietly suggest small things (a nip here, a tuck there...).
So, allow me to even the playing field. Every time I see a man make a remark about some ridiculous imperfection on a woman, unless that man is Chippendale's-dancer-perfect, I'm going to call him on his shit. 'Okay, you want me to be thinner, you too hon, because that pastey ass beer belly and back hair aren't really doing it for me either!' 'A boob job? Sure, but a. your ass is paying for it, and b. I want your biceps to be 25 inches in circumference first.' Why do only men get to make the demand? I say, women, stand the fuck up and demand a little for yourself. He's a little short down stairs demand he do something about it! Your man getting a little big around the middle, start serving only salad and eliminate all 'fun' food from the house. It's time we stop playing these bullshit games with them. They want to control us by using our insecurities against us? Bring.It.On.Motherfucker. I'm a mean bitch when I want to be and I will cut you down.
Just some food for thought for all my ladies out there. To the men who aren't the idiots I speak of, GOOD JOB! Keep it up. A revolution might be just around the corner.
Eh, fuck 'em! I'm not quite as tall as you but I'm still tall (5'9"). You rock those heels if you want and be any damn way you choose. If you feel like telling a dude to drop the beer belly and get a tan or manscape then do it!
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