Change

It is time for a change. I have allowed myself to become lackadaisical for too long and activity is needed to enact some real evolution, revolution. I have watched as I have turned into a woman that I am not proud of. I have seen my dignity be pushed to the wayside, my self-respect molt, my dominant personality decay. This is not acceptable. I cannot allow it to continue. For if I allow these changes to become permanent, then I too will be pushed to the wayside, I too will molt and decay. 

Maybe it's too late for these changes (after all, I've been told the world is going to end here pretty soon, I got a pamphlet that said judgment day is on May 21st...) maybe I will be unable to enact these changes...but, regardless of what is to come, all I have is now: this moment, and in this moment, I desperately need a change for the better. This will include working out again (dear god it's needed!), cleaning up my act a little and more than anything finding that girl I lost so long ago. I can't allow myself to continue on the road I'm traveling--for myself and for all those around me. 

So, I begin a journey. Yes, the world might end soon. Yes, I might not succeed. But I have nothing left to do but try. Try to turn the poor decisions of the past into a stepping stone for a better future. For a life I can be proud of.