Getting to know you

How long does it take to get to know someone? A week? A month? A year? How long does it take to memorize things like what their full name is, what day their birthday is, and their favorite food? For some these details come easily, others struggle for years. I've heard men say that they just aren't good at retaining those kind of details, that those details aren't important. But order them the wrong meal, forget their birthday, and call them by the wrong name they'll probably be a little more than cranky with you. 

So, why then, are those details so easy for them to forget? I know men who could tell you the stupidest little details about computer programs, scuba regulations, gun specifications, and their top 10 favorite cheeses, but ask them what their mothers birthday is...the details are gone. I can only extrapolate that it comes down to a matter of interest. I know stupid nuances of makeup because I freaking adore makeup. Men know those nuances about things that women generally think are beyond stupid because men are extremely interested in those things--they want to learn about them, they want to know the annoying little details. Women, birthdays, names, details...those aren't things that interest them. Once they've 'got' the girl, why fill your mind with who she is? You've already obtained her. 

So, my dear few male readers, allow me to throw you a freaking bone here, mmmkay? Not all women want to be showered with affection and gifts, some don't need to be bought. We understand when you fuck something up, hell we expect it, because you're human, but I can promise  you this: The little things you remember and do will add up. Remembering her birthday and doing something for her (even if you hate it) will get you brownie points. Knowing her full name and how to spell it might not get you points, but it's better than the repercussions of not knowing. When she's asking you questions--ASK SOME BACK!! Pretend, though I realize it's hard and you don't actually care, that you want to get to know her, that you care about the small nuances about who she is. And I'm not talking the "how was your day" crap, (though, you should ask that too) and most importantly...dear god please pay attention: LISTEN TO HER WHEN SHE SPEAKS!!!  Sitting there and not paying attention is bad. Even if you don't give a rip (which, if you don't, why are you dating her?) pretend to care, listen to her, and attempt to retain information.