Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Marriage & Monogamy: Antiquated Ritual or Divine Union?

First, before I begin on today's verbal ejaculation, I'd like to send out a HUGE THANKS! Little Tough Love has recently hit 1,000 views, from 10 countries! So, to my readers in the US, UK, Russia, Singapore, Germany, India, Denmark, Canada, Netherlands, and Morocco THANK YOU SO MUCH! You are all super awesome!

Now, onto the subject-du-jour! Recently, I've been thinking a lot about marriage, monogamy, social and biological imperatives, et cetera...all this brain storming has led me to some research, which has, in turn, led to more pondering, and back and forth into oblivion. Though I tend to enjoy myself a little oblivion every now and again, this type of thought processes I find tedious, circular, and ultimately frustrating. My problem begins with the social imperative of marriage and monogamy. These have become social norms. Boys and girls grow into men and women, who fall in "love" and marry eventually producing progeny and they all live happily ever after -- or some shit. Now, here comes my issue, I mean, first, I've yet to see that fairy tale except in Disney movies. I mean, I've seen folks who have been married for years, refuse to divorce, but still aren't happy, I've seen people who pretend really well to make it seem as if that fairy tale is true and valid, but just doesn't seem that way. Secondly, the divorce rate (for the first marriage, as we have divorce rates through third marriages [which should be a sign]) is 40%...FORTY FUCKING PERCENT! I mean, holy bejesus. That's an impressive number. So, we have no wonderful marriages to reference and 40% divorce rates throughout this country (and yes, my dear Americans, we do have the highest rate of ANY country! Be proud my country men!), but somehow still feel socially obligated to dance this little dance.

So, if those are the basics facts, lets look at the history, for in history we can find enlightenment, right? Apparently not so much in this case. Turns out, a good portion of marriages originated as a way for men to have guaranteed paternity, so he was willing to pay for a bride (much like one would buy livestock) in exchange for sexual exclusivity. Oh, did I mention the word 'bride' comes from a Germanic root word meaning "to cook, brew, or make a broth"? So, basically, women were bought for their wombs and cooking was merely a perk. Even now, many women give up their own name, their bodies, and, as far as I've seen, often times their sanity for this union, but there are no more dowry's,  long gone (in the US anyway) are the days when marriage was a family affair, when a person married as a way to bond families and raise social status, lost are marriages for business...they have devolved to social norms.

It's weird when someone hits a certain age and is still single...and women are still left with the short stick. In this day and age, is marriage and monogamy necessary? I mean, with technology as it is, I can walk into a clinic and walk out "with-child", no direct contact with a man necessary. I am able to get a job that will pay me well enough, and with all that we know about divorce and how it might effect a child added to the fact that millions of single parents raise their children all by themselves, why are these out-dated rituals still obligatory? A woman can have a child, by herself (and lets face it, men throw semen around like fucking confetti at New Years, all you have to do is tell them you want to have sex, very simple creatures for the most part) raise the child, by herself, and still be functional - the child still raised well. So why? Simply because we're suppose to?

Maybe it's time for a reevaluation, perhaps civilization is ready for a change.

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