Issa

Dear Representative Issa, 

Though I understand that the hearing held yesterday, February 16, 2012 was to discuss the constitutionality of Obama’s plan to have religious institutions offer contraception, I have to say that to disallow any woman from being heard in a discussion that primarily affects women’s reproductive rights is beyond ludicrous. I understand that religious institutions have a conflict of conscious regarding contraception, but as a woman I have a conflict of logical reasoning when men attempt to control my reproductive rights. Perhaps it is my own fallible “female logic”, but just because contraception is provided for does not mean it has to be used, having a religious institution offer that coverage is not the government saying that the people in that institution have to use it, only that they have it available. How could that ever be considered unconstitutional? Moreover, how would the lack of that coverage for women merely working for that institution (a hospital, university, or school perhaps) wherein the religious beliefs are being forced onto the employees/students thereby eradicating their religious freedoms and their rights to their own bodies?  I realize those female employees and students could simply find a clinic and pay out of pocket, but clinics are not always inexpensive nor are they always conveniently located. 

I find it disconcerting that the government is often using religion as a means to tell women what we should or should not do with our bodies. Unsurprisingly, it is so often men in government telling us how we should conduct our reproductive health. From defunding Planned Parenthood (one of the only affordable women’s health clinics nationwide) because they perform abortions – regardless of whether over 90% of what they do is simply women’s health screenings and providing contraception, to the creation of laws restricting our control over our bodies; government has slowly led the march back in time, eroding and minimizing women’s reproductive rights. I fear that any daughter I might have will live in a society where a man will decide the fate of her body. 

I am not saying you are guilty of this, but I am saying that in your decision to disallow women from having a voice in matters that affect us most, our bodies, you have passively consented to this form of treatment. You are lucky that as a man you will never understand the blessing and curse that is being a female: we are able to bring forth life, but we can also be forced to do so, we can also die doing so. If America truly wants to be the land of the free, where equality is paramount; all must be equal, and all must be free, even if our personal doctrines disagree.

OMG SOMEONE FAMOUS DIED!!!

Yesterday the world lost a truly great talent, the great Whitney Houston passed on to join Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson, Etta James, Elvis Presley, and TuPac. Such a sad, sad day. Every American news agency is blasted with information and memorials of Ms. Houston, Facebook and Twitter are inundated with personal tributes to her from people who only knew her voice - how tragic!

Though I will recognize that Ms. Houston, like the other late but great's will be missed, I'm sure her family and friends are devastated beyond measure. But, here's what upsets me: Whitney Houston dies...everyone else is forgotten. According to statistics: 2,437,163 people died in the United States in 2009 (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/deaths.htm), and take a moment to really look at that number. Every one of those two million, four hundred thirty-seven thousand, one hundred sixty-three deaths was that of a son or daughter, mother or father, sister or brother, a friend, a loved one; some of them probably had amazing talents, were wonderful people, were kind, felt pain, had memories...and each of them are gone. 

More recently, in 2011 418 members of the United States Military died in Afghanistan (http://icasualties.org/) each of them also sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, friends, loved ones who put their lives on the line to fight for this country. Those 418 join the other 5,959 United States Service Members who have died since 2001 in the Middle East. Where was their overwhelming memorial in the news? Why weren't they a "trending topic" on Twitter? They willingly signed over their lives for the protection of this Country and the freedoms it represents - why aren't all of their names in lights? 

Currently, and this is hard to tap into, it is projected that, as of 1730, February 2nd, 2012:

6,619,740 people have died worldwide this year

113,000 just today

22,356 of those dead this year died of hunger 

889,746 of them were children under the age of 5 

40,242 were mothers bringing children into the world

114,820 were from Malaria - a curable disease...

Need I go on? (http://www.worldometers.info/) And sadly, every second that tics by these numbers grow. I am not trying to diminish the sadness of any death, famous or not, what I am trying to do is gain some perspective. Whitney Houston was a famous singer who graced the world with her wonderful talent, but who were those other six million, six hundred nineteen thousand, seven hundred thirty-nine souls? Is one soul worth remembering more than another? Does talent out weigh the tragedy that we each over look in the world around us? Or is it just easier to ignore these numbers? We'll pick and choose which death is the saddest. The fact of the matter is, most of us didn't know Ms. Houston or Mr. Jackson any better than we know the vast majority of those listed above. The only difference is we heard their name, listened to their music, helped make them millionaires...but the fact is that I doubt any of us knew them personally, shook their hands, had deep discussions with them. 

In my oddly skewed worldview, I believe that every death - near and far - should be considered a tragedy. Every person has some form of potential, and with each death the planet as a whole has missed out on an opportunity. Maybe before we go mourning the celebrities, we take a moment to mourn the deaths that happen everywhere, all the time. Perhaps, if we gain a little perspective, one celebrity's death wont be so much more saddening than all the deaths that could be prevented.

May all of the 6,619,740 people (and counting) rest in peace. Each and everyone of you will be missed.

A Letter To Rick Santorum

Dear Mr. Santorum,

I have been following the GOP campaign trail for some time now, and I must say, I'm getting a little upset with your theories regarding women. First and foremost let me explain that I am a 25 year old woman who served as a Military Police Officer in the United States Marine Corps, I am 6 feet tall and not built like some willowy, fragile super model, I can hold my own. I was trained at Perris Island, South Carolina with a program that mirrors the training male Marines undergo, and upon entering MP school, I trained right along side with the boys.

Though you have made many comments regarding women, women's rights, homosexuality, family, and religion, the first that I will discuss is the comment that came to light today regarding women in combat positions [http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2012/02/10/tsr-santorum-women-in-combat.cnn?iref=allsearch].

Now, I understand you were never willing to put your life on the line for your country and your convictions like so many other Americans have. I know that you have never experienced the camaraderie, the pride, or the challenge of being in the Armed Services. Men and women of all services train, work, and fight together everyday. The emotions that are felt towards one another are most often those of a family - brothers and sisters, and they fight to ensure the person to their left and right survives. Emotionality regarding gender is out of the question, you are fighting for yourself and the people on either side of you. Period. Having said that, I would invite you to spend a day in their shoes, training the way they do, the way I did. I invite you to drag your body through sand and mud, run miles, carry heavily weighted packs, and solve complex problems on very little food and less sleep. I welcome you to experience the true emotionality of war.

As far as your beliefs on women's reproductive rights go, and forgive me for saying so, but, when was the last time you had a uterus? When was the last time you could have been raped and left with a lifetime reminder - a piece of the rapist - growing inside of you? I mean, if you disagree with contraception and abortion that is your right, however my body is my right. You can claim that life begins at conception, but if that "life" is, for all intents and purposes, a parasite living off and within me then it is my choice. If you are against abortion, don't get one. If you're against contraception, don't use it. But, please, don't limit and punish my gender simply for having the organs that carry the fetus. They are our bodies, and carrying a fetus puts us at risk too. When science allows men to be the incubators, then you can decide for yourselves.

Now, as for your stance on gay marriage. First, how can love destroy the sanctity of marriage? 43-50% of traditional marriages end in divorce...doesn't that destroy the sanctity of marriage far more than two men in love would? Moreover, homosexuality was prevalent in many historical societies. Ancient Romans, for example, felt that women were so far below men that they should only be touched and used for procreation, out side of those events, men kept the company (very physical company, might I add) of other men, and often took a younger male as an apprentice who would often fulfill the older males physical needs. If we are going strictly by the Bible, is that nice suit of yours made of more than one type of fabric? Have you ever eaten lobster? Those are against the rules too according to your doctrine. Plus, we can forget about that whole "abortion-for-rapees" thing, because, again, according to your book, if that happens, the girl must marry her rapist (really, it's full of fun facts! Did you know we can own slaves??).

Basically, what I'm trying to tell you is that thinking before speaking is a lovely phenomenon, and researching your stance before proselytizing is a wonderful thing to do, and oh-so-educational! Lastly, if you dislike that your name has become this: "Santorum 1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex", then stop acting like a bigoted, closed-minded, and arrogant politician who is only running for President to enact laws according to their religiosity - it's freedom of religion, not "Santorum's Religion as Law". 

Yours truly, 

E.C. Keehn

P.S. STOP TALKING!

2011: A Year in Review

Another year is coming to a close. And to think I started this year in Vegas, in the Palazzo Hotel, face down on a metal toilet with an automatic flush. Really, there are few other places as perfect to be extremely ill as on a metal toilet with auto flush. The metal keeps cool and it just keeps flushing itself. One can nap and vomit without concern! Though, security...those bastards! forced me into a wheelchair, siting some regulation about persons who cannot stand of their own accord and medical assistance, and was wheeled away from my lovely metal toilet with it's automatic flush (don't worry, I totally got those fancy-schmancy Palazzo jerks when I threw-up in their lobby on my way out to the ambulance!) I was taken to the ER where I sang Lady Gaga on my gurney, and was the happiest patient there. I mean, yes, I was hung over for a full week and didn't drink for a full month after, but it was a hell of a way to ring in 2011. 

Soon after I started my first semester at SDSU, a place I am proud to say I have only one more semester at, proving that hard work and determination can pay off, even if it takes a while. I moved to my small and generally quiet studio apartment and have been sailing through the year, turning 25 and recognizing that life is not infinite, as I am not infinite. That each day I grow ever more aged, until the one day that I cease to exist, which according to some could be this year, 12-21-12. 

But with this, where do I go? Where do I place my next step? Do I continue down the path I've sought, or decide that in this one life I must live for myself alone? Do I allow my individualistic societal views to take over, or live as the collectivist I've been? The resolutions have been made, but where do they actually take me? Or, perhaps, my feet will fall exactly where they're meant to and my journey will unfold itself. 

Each year, we ring in the next with frivolity and unhampered celebration. Each year resolutions are made, many of which are abandoned within a week or two. We tell ourselves that this year will be different, that the world is our oyster and the pearl is ours for the taking. But perhaps we are all looking at the new year the wrong way. Perhaps it isn't the resolutions we make to ourselves that matter the most, perhaps it is those we make to our species, to the next generation, to the last generation, to our allies and enemies, to the future of the planet as a whole. Perhaps if we could stop focusing on our own pithy little problems we could realize that it's a new year for us all. And without at least one of those resolutions going to the greater good, we might just be lost forever. 

May the next year bring a change, for the better, for all. 

Marriage & Monogamy: Antiquated Ritual or Divine Union?

First, before I begin on today's verbal ejaculation, I'd like to send out a HUGE THANKS! Little Tough Love has recently hit 1,000 views, from 10 countries! So, to my readers in the US, UK, Russia, Singapore, Germany, India, Denmark, Canada, Netherlands, and Morocco THANK YOU SO MUCH! You are all super awesome!

Now, onto the subject-du-jour! Recently, I've been thinking a lot about marriage, monogamy, social and biological imperatives, et cetera...all this brain storming has led me to some research, which has, in turn, led to more pondering, and back and forth into oblivion. Though I tend to enjoy myself a little oblivion every now and again, this type of thought processes I find tedious, circular, and ultimately frustrating. My problem begins with the social imperative of marriage and monogamy. These have become social norms. Boys and girls grow into men and women, who fall in "love" and marry eventually producing progeny and they all live happily ever after -- or some shit. Now, here comes my issue, I mean, first, I've yet to see that fairy tale except in Disney movies. I mean, I've seen folks who have been married for years, refuse to divorce, but still aren't happy, I've seen people who pretend really well to make it seem as if that fairy tale is true and valid, but just doesn't seem that way. Secondly, the divorce rate (for the first marriage, as we have divorce rates through third marriages [which should be a sign]) is 40%...FORTY FUCKING PERCENT! I mean, holy bejesus. That's an impressive number. So, we have no wonderful marriages to reference and 40% divorce rates throughout this country (and yes, my dear Americans, we do have the highest rate of ANY country! Be proud my country men!), but somehow still feel socially obligated to dance this little dance.

So, if those are the basics facts, lets look at the history, for in history we can find enlightenment, right? Apparently not so much in this case. Turns out, a good portion of marriages originated as a way for men to have guaranteed paternity, so he was willing to pay for a bride (much like one would buy livestock) in exchange for sexual exclusivity. Oh, did I mention the word 'bride' comes from a Germanic root word meaning "to cook, brew, or make a broth"? So, basically, women were bought for their wombs and cooking was merely a perk. Even now, many women give up their own name, their bodies, and, as far as I've seen, often times their sanity for this union, but there are no more dowry's,  long gone (in the US anyway) are the days when marriage was a family affair, when a person married as a way to bond families and raise social status, lost are marriages for business...they have devolved to social norms.

It's weird when someone hits a certain age and is still single...and women are still left with the short stick. In this day and age, is marriage and monogamy necessary? I mean, with technology as it is, I can walk into a clinic and walk out "with-child", no direct contact with a man necessary. I am able to get a job that will pay me well enough, and with all that we know about divorce and how it might effect a child added to the fact that millions of single parents raise their children all by themselves, why are these out-dated rituals still obligatory? A woman can have a child, by herself (and lets face it, men throw semen around like fucking confetti at New Years, all you have to do is tell them you want to have sex, very simple creatures for the most part) raise the child, by herself, and still be functional - the child still raised well. So why? Simply because we're suppose to?

Maybe it's time for a reevaluation, perhaps civilization is ready for a change.

A Little Patriotism

A Post Marine Corps Birthday / Veterans Day Thought

Having been in the Military, having had the opportunity to serve my country, days like November 10th and 11th have a special  meaning for me.

November 10th, 2011 was the 236th birthday of the United States Marine Corps. The Marine Corps has been well known as a branch of the military that separates itself from the rest of the military branches in that they have been known, as Eleanor Roosevelt put it, "The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps." This is how they are known. They are the First to Fight, quotes about their tenacity, arrogance, and ferocity have become part of legend - some of the mythos of what is American. To be a member of these elite men and women takes a minimum of 13 weeks of breaking and rebuilding, of courage and obedience. A history of warriors is handed down during these weeks and at the end of those long weeks the body stands straighter, the mind is sharper, the senses heightened, and the life has joined a life force that includes all that have ever and will ever serve the Corps. 

November 11th is Veteran's Day. This is a day to celebrate every service member who has ever served in any branch of the United States Military.This is the day we Americans use to pay homage to those who have fought and cried, fought and died, fought and survived for this nation. It is often easy to forget that each of them have signed their life over to the United States, to its defense, and for some, have paid that very price. These are the men and women who have allowed this nation to exist and remain free.

I say "they"...detached. It often slips my mind that I am one of them. Though, as only those who have served, but not had the opportunity to fight, would understand, I feel apart from them. That I have not served as they have served. They are the true heroes, I am just one who was once lucky enough to stand beside them. Many do not, cannot understand the guilt of not having had the chance to lay their lives down while their brothers and sisters fight for theirs. I am a Marine, I am a Veteran. But the true heroes are those who have offered more than I was able. Those who have fallen live within me, their sacrifice is visceral and real. I am no hero, but I am honored to be among them.

People often confuse their own views on war with the ability to support those who fight. They confuse the government with those who merely work for it. Service members are not the enemy, and many of them are just doing their jobs. We, as civilians, get caught in the idea of quitting a job when we disagree or when we dislike company policy, service members do not have that liberty. The freedoms many of us take for granted out here are suspended while in service. They enlist out of duty, they fight because it is their job to follow orders regardless of what those orders are.

I have been blessed to be among them, to live among them, and to train with them. To all Veterans, to all Marines, Semper Fi and thank you.

Invisible

For someone of my stature, it's amazing how well I play the wallflower. I can blend in, fade to the back, and become completely unnoticed. It's been a gift since childhood. I have known how to stay out of the way and not call attention to myself. Even now, at 25 ::shudder:: I can walk into a room silently, and sit without anyone noting my presence. 

This has been easy, I'm quite shy naturally, I don't like to call attention to myself generally. Some of you might think, what? E? Shy??? No way! alas, it is true. I've learned to compensate for my strong desire to disappear by being loud, abrasive, outlandish. I learned that quiet was an easy target, caustic was not. But, still, an introvert through and through. 

Only recently have I realized that my invisibility cloak, the one I thought I'd left behind early in grade school, is still very much hung about my shoulders. Friends don't know me, they don't see me for who I am. No one does. I've gotten so good at pretending to be something else that who I am almost doesn't exist. 

I can't be angry, I have created this world in which I am only seen as one thing, and all details contrary to that thing are discarded as irrelevant or out-of-character. But it does make me a little sad. I hope that when I grow up, someone sees me. The real me. Someone knows me for who and what I truly am, and I will no longer be invisible.