Maybe it's just that time of year, maybe it's just that I've reached that age where everyone is beginning to settle down and pop out them babies...or maybe I'm just becoming slightly sensitive to all the talk but Marriage seems to be a very popular subject these days. Whose Wedding is it Anyway?, Bridzilla, A Wedding Story, and the Royal wedding (though behind us almost a month now) still in headlines, weddings seem the "IT" thing right now. And I've got to be honest with you...the more I think about it, the less sense it makes.
In the good ol' days, and for my purposes lets just say anytime from mans creation/evolution on this planet until the 1950's (ish) traditional marriages had a purpose. Generally, women didn't work and if they did they earned much less than men (and a part of their "job" was child rearing), so, in effect, women needed a husband to help out the family....not to mention that children were actually just little workers for whatever job mom and dad had. I can pretty much promise you that the majority of families in the sixteenth century did not give a rip what their child's aspirations were. That child was going to do whatever the hell mom and dad did, and that was it. Enter World War II, women went to work, and *gasp* some of them liked it! So, even when the men came home, some of the women didn't rush back to their abandoned kitchens, they stayed at work, they fought like hell to stay at work. And from that day forward, we women, were, in many respects, free of our dependence on men.
Now, by no means am I disrespecting traditional marriage. I have been raised as many other women in my generation; you grow up, go to college, get married, have children and a career, etc. My parents have been married for over thirty years! So, in many ways marriage was something I was expecting, wanting, and to a certain extent needing. But as I've grown, I've realized, in this day and age, the entire theory behind marriage seems antiquated, out dated, and over all, unnecessary. Why do I say this? Well, for now, we'll put aside how ludicrous the entire ceremony is, and just look at the logic of the union. Two people (I don't really care which two) but two people who want to be together, and need a piece of paper for legalities, and have to pay money to do so...maybe it's just me, but, as a a woman, I don't need a man in my life to become a mother. I need sperm, and lets face it boys, you all throw that around willy-nilly! I can go to a clinic or simply to a bar to get that. Moreover, people argue that the couple raises the child, not one more than the other...but lets face it, the woman does the majority of child rearing (generally and traditionally speaking, I'm by no means undermining the stay at home or single fathers). The woman carries the child, births the child, nourishes the child - those things are inherent to women alone - biologically. Plus, in this day and age women make almost as much as men do and thus, can afford to raise the child alone!
So, why anti-marriage? Well, frankly, not many people make it out to be this wonderful thing. Most people seem rather miserable in marriage, even if only quietly. Not to mention that marriage is an industry, and a multi-billion dollar industry at that. The average wedding in America costs over $20,000, the average divorce costs the same, and you have less than a 50/50 chance of making your marriage work. So...you're proposed to, and the proposal is actually a $40,000(+) question: do I roll the dice, gamble a little, spend the money on the chance, and it's not even a good chance, that this will work out? And that's all without looking at the fact that most modern women are on some form of birth control (for whatever reason) which effectively changes who they're attracted to (birth control tricks your body chemistry into believing you're already pregnant, thus effecting who you are attracted to chemically, because if your body chemistry is convinced your pregnant your not going to pick up on the same pheromones), so we're becoming attracted to, effectively, the wrong people to start with. Then, we're risking money, lots and lots of money. The wedding, the alimony, the child support, mutual assets and properties, lawyer fees, the divorce costs...all for a relationship? Whereas, don't get married (instantly save, on average, 20K), have the relationship, if you decide to share assets make written contracts regarding ownership and separation, be cautious about who you breed with, be self sufficient, etc. and the only costs of a break up would be potential child support. It just makes more sense. I don't need the state or the federal government to tell me who I can love or how I can love them. I certainly don't need to spend that money (I mean 20K is a new car, or a down payment on a house!).
So, for now, I don't see the reason, I fail to understand the full purpose. It seems an elaborate celebration of arrogance that isn't worth the risks associated.
